Circlework in Times of War: Jalaja Reports on Israel Circles 09

Thank You!

Having returned from Israel, I first want to thank you for all your prayers, blessings, emails, and donations. Despite the war in Gaza, my friend Helena and I felt quite safe, whether wandering through the Arab quarter of old Jerusalem or visiting the West Bank. Moreover, there could have been no better time to offer peace circles in Israel.

Our program included a circle for Druze, Bedouin, Arab and Jewish women in a Druze village called Ussafiya, a circle for Palestinian women in the West Bank, a circle for Jewish and Palestinian men and women, and a three day retreat for Arabs, Jews, and Palestinians near Jerusalem.

The workshop was very deep. I was astonished at how quickly we became a close group, a community where we shared so deeply and with so much trust in one another. I felt a profound sense of sisterhood, and each of the women will always have a very special place in my heart.Diane Kaplan (Jewish)

The Backdrop of Gaza

The Israeli-Palestinian conflict seems to evoke tribal consciousness and "us-versus-them" thinking as no other issue does, causing people to become either strongly pro-Palestinian, or strongly pro-Israeli. Of course, each side has its own narrative, its own set stories that show why one side is right, and morally superior, while the other is wrong, and morally inferior.

But what would it mean to be pro-peace? I believe that in order to be pro-peace, we must resist the pull to take sides. Instead of passing judgment on the "others," and portraying them as evil, let us try to remember our common humanity. Instead of trying to punish them for the suffering they have caused us, let us claim our power to forgive and let go of the past.

In Israel, where tribal consciousness is strong, this is not easy, for tribal consciousness tells us that our history defines who we are, and teaches us to cling hard to the past. Not surprisingly, many of the women I work with are painfully aware of carrying the suffering of their ancestors on their shoulders. I find all the more extraordinary their willingness to put down the burdens of the past in order to face the "other" with an open heart.

The workshop was an incredible experience, far beyond anything I could ever have imagined. I had been apprehensive about coming because of the war, but it was absolutely amazing, and I want to participate in more circles.Balkis Hazem, Muslim Arab

Forgiveness, some wise person once said, means letting go of all hope for a better past. Our refusal to forgive does not serve the cause of justice, but merely keeps us stuck in a futile battle against reality. Our bondage to the past disempowers us, and renders us incapable of meeting the challenges of the present with clear eyes and an open mind.

Ultimately, we all want the same things: freedom, happiness, economic stability, and the promise of a bright future for our children. Instead of arguing about who is right and who is wrong, let us focus on finding a path that works, and can help sustain peace, not just for a few years, but in the long run.

For anyone who loves Israel, and is concerned about its future, the most important question to ask is not whether Israel's war in Gaza was justified, but whether it was practical. Has it made the lives of Israeli citizens more safe and secure? Or has it sown the seeds for a future even more bitter than the present? The latter, I fear, for the people of Gaza now feel confirmed in their distrust and hatred of Israel.

While I don't have the solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, I know that bombs are not the answer. Violence begets violence and perpetuates an endless cycle that leads to nothing but death, destruction, heartbreak, and trauma.

Circlework reminds us that there is another way, a way that affirms our humanity, and that works. That is to say, it builds a real foundation for peaceful relationships between Arabs and Jews.

The way Jalaja brings things from the mind to the heart, from the political frequency to the inner peace frequency, was powerful for me. I experienced her as a teacher who brings balance between mind, body, and heart. During the workshop, my heart expanded, and I opened to new dimensions of myself. Now, I want to come to Ithaca to take the Circlework Leadership TrainingTzila Berman (Jewish)

Yesterday, I received an email from Dalya Tamir telling me that out of our workshop in Ein Kerem, a new community of women has been born. It warms her heart, she says, to hear about all the ways in which these women--Jewish, Arab, Druze and Palestinian--are staying connected and in touch. It is, I believe, through the weaving of such connections that our hope for peace lies. While politicians have their part to play, peace can ultimately not be dictated from the top down, but must grow from the ground up. The gift of Circlework is that it teaches people to create gardens where the seeds of peace can grow. Watered with tears, bathed in the light of love, and fertilized by wisdom, they take root and grow healthy and strong. And seeing this, our hope for the future is renewed.

These days, you frequently hear the expression "the war against" this or that, and whenever I hear it, I know that it is condemned to failure. ... War is a mind-set, and all action that comes out of such mind-set will either strengthen the enemy, the perceived evil, or, if the war is won, will create a new enemy, a new evil equal to and often worse than the one that was defeated.Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

Mending Broken Hearts and Broken Communities

This is a hard time to be a peacemaker in Israel. "I bring to you my broken heart," one woman said. Like her, most of the women were in tremendous pain, besieged by shame, anger, grief, hopelessness, and fear for the future.

I am happy to say that after our circles ended, many told me they were returning to their lives with a new sense of wholeness and power. They spoke of a new sense of hope and connection to others around the planet who share their commitment to building a more peaceful world.

Even though I am Palestinian and do not forget my identity, I believe in world peace. I was very touched by the way Jalaja looked at me and knew what I was going through. Jalaja spoke about mirrors, and how each woman is a reflection of ourselves, and in the circle, I experienced that. It was very powerful to connect during such a difficult time, and know that through our inner work, we could affect the outer world.Nawal Awad (Muslim Arab)

For me, two old truths were once again confirmed. The first is that in times of crisis, emotional healing is essential to the wellbeing, not just of individuals, but of entire communities. Without it, people grow numb, cynical, hard, indifferent, and hopeless. Unhealed pain begets further violence, and so the cycle continues. Circlework interrupts this cycle by teaching groups of strangers, and even enemies, to co-create healing sanctuaries where their suffering can be gently cradled, released and transformed.

A second truth of which I was reminded is that when emotions run high, trying to relate on a merely mental level will only get us bogged down in futile arguments. If, on the other hand, we can connect from heart to heart, a sense of unity and oneness can arise. Secure in the knowledge of our oneness, we can fearlessly acknowledge our differences, while remaining open to new insights and perceptions.

Peace then no longer remains an abstract ideal. Rather, it becomes a felt presence that heals our hearts, mends our relationships, and reconnects us with the possibility of happiness and joy.

Empowering Arab Women

In our circles, a focus on peace came hand in hand with a focus on women's empowerment, which, as we all agreed, is a crucial prerequisite to peace. In the West Bank circle, many women complained of feeling constricted and held back by society.

This hardly came as a surprise. However, I was shocked when, at the three day retreat, an Israeli woman told us that her close friend had been murdered in a so-called "honor killing." Others then came forward with similarly horrifying and barbaric stories.

Of course I knew of instances in which Arab women had been murdered by close relatives-usually their own fathers or brothers-for having supposedly violated their culture's strict morals. But I had no idea this happened in Israel, let alone how common it was.

When I asked how many of the Arab women in the room felt at risk, or had friends at risk, all but one raised their hands. As one woman hastened to explain, such acts of murder have no basis in Islam or in the Koran. Nonetheless, they persist.

At the same time, I experienced the Arab women as powerful and empowered. While the repression is real, so is their determination to claim their power, celebrate their sisterhood, and prepare a new path for their daughters.

May Peace and Joy Prevail

The openness, tolerance and willingness to forgive I witnessed in both Israeli and Palestinian women was tremendously inspiring and hopeful. One of the many things I love about them is their love of joyful song and dance. Even in the midst of overwhelming grief and pain, I never saw them close the door on laughter. At the drop of a hat, they were ready to clap their hands, sing their songs, and celebrate life.

Whenever I witnessed this, I marveled at their astonishing courage, grace, and resilience. Every day, they humbled me with their authenticity, honesty, generosity and wisdom.

To every one of the sisters and brothers with whom I sat in circle, my deepest gratitude. You have taught me so much. Together, we can create magic; the magic of peace and beauty, the magic of the light that shines in the darkness. Shukran. Toda. Thank you. Salaam. Shalom. Peace.

Jalaja Bonheim
Institute for Circlework