Meetings in Sacred Space
How does one begin to describe an experience as rich and varied as my recent trip to Israel? For me, the greatest gift it gave me were the many extraordinary people I met. I think of Janette, a beautiful, large, Arab woman whose emotional authenticity and courage inspired us all. Now and then, she would spontaneously burst into song, softening the ancient guttural sounds of the Arab language with her gentle, husky voice. Click here to hear one of her songs. Also, check out the slide show of images from this trip.
I also think of Aura, a beautiful, strong Jewish sister whom I met in 2005, and was overjoyed to see again. One evening she told me that after my last visit, she had dreamed that she looked for me, found me, and informed me I needed to return to Israel. I think of Aida, our Bedouin translator, a fiery sprite with a deep passion for social justice and transformation, and of Eda Zoritte and Aharon Megged, two of Israel's foremost writers whom we were privileged to meet. The list could go on and on. Everywhere we went, people opened their doors and their hearts to us, fed us, and told us their stories.
The Gift of Supportive SistersSeveral miracles happened to make this trip possible. One of them was the fact that my Israeli friend Dalya Tamir, who had recently moved from Ithaca back to Israel, agreed to organize the events, a huge job involving innumerable phone calls. Dalya's competency, efficiency, and dedication are extraordinary. She's well connected in Israel, she knows and loves Circlework, and is a deeply spiritual woman. Countless times I thanked Spirit for sending her.
Another miracle was that my friend Helena Cooper decided to accompany me on this trip. I can't even imagine how I would have done it without her. "I knew you needed support," she told me, and she was right: I did. Helena did all the driving, both on highways and in crowded city traffic, while I studied our maps, tried to make sense of insanely complicated directions, and stared at Hebrew and Arabic street signs. We need three people, I jokingly told a friend, one to drive, one to read the maps, and one to pray.
The Itinerary
The itinerary was packed, and included six events ranging from evening talks to a two and a half day residential retreat. The first circle in Jerusalem was hosted by Interfaith, an organization that brings Jewish and Arab men and women together to connect through learning and studying each other's religious traditions. The second circle was for a group of women in a town called Rehovot, near Tel Aviv, called the Fifth Mother, which was founded in 2002 by women from the Four Mothers Movement, which was instrumental in ending the Israeli occupation of Lebanon. From there, we drove north to Nazareth, where I led a circle for members of Beyond Words, the organization that hosted my circles in 2005. In Nazareth, I also led a circle for Arab elders, of which I'll say more in a minute.
From Nazareth we went to Tsvat, an old town where the Institute for Circlework hosted a residential retreat for twenty Jewish and Arab women in Tsvat. The final event was a circle at Neve Shalom/Wahat al-Salam, which means Oasis of Peace in Hebrew and Arabic respectively, and is the only intentional community of Jews and Palestinian Arabs in Israel. In addition, I gave an interview for an Israeli magazine, and attended a circle for Jewish women in Tsvat, to which I was graciously invited by Genine El-Bar, the host of our retreat.
The Threat of Violence and the Promise of Peace
Today, more and more of us are realizing that either we will learn to get along, or we will destroy each other. Yet in Israel, perhaps more than any other place, people recognize that Circlework is not just about personal healing, or about improving our personal relationships. There, it's obvious that nothing could be more important or more urgent than learning to overcome our apparent inability to co-exist peacefully with members of our own species.
War and violence are realities of which one is constantly reminded. Young women soldiers walk into cafés carrying heavy machine guns by their side. A young woman recalls arriving at a well-known café just five minutes after it had been ripped apart by a bomb, and being overwhelmed by the awful smell of burned human flesh. Military planes fly constantly over our hotel in Nazareth, loud, low, rattling the windowpanes. In the recent war with Lebanon, Genine El Bar, our host in Tsvat, had to flee with her husband and young children. She remembers how scared the children were: "They were white as ghosts." Mana's six-year old daughter still suffers from post-traumatic stress. At one time they weren't able to seek shelter in time, and were out in the garden when a bomb hit their neighbor's house. "It is because of her," Mana tells me, "that I am doing this work. I need to do this."
Facing the Past
Even the walls hold memories. As it turned out, our host Genine's retreat space, a beautiful old house, was built centuries ago by Christian Arabs. Today, Tsvat is a decidedly Jewish town, and a haven for artists who fall in love with its romantic beauty, but it was once a predominately Arab town. Jews and Arabs battled over it for centuries, until in 1948, the Arabs were driven out completely.
From the start, this awareness permeated our retreat, and triggered powerful emotions for both Arabs and Jews. The Arab women had to deal with the knowledge that they were gathering in a home from which their ancestors had been forcibly driven out. The Jewish women had to explore what it meant to take responsibility for their collective history, without becoming entrapped in feelings of guilt, shame, or defensiveness. And both had to embrace the feelings of discomfort that arise when we expose ourselves to the "other."
Yet I never cease to be amazed at people's capacity for forgiveness, for reconciliation, for self-liberation. "What," I asked one Arab woman, "would it be like, if you could hold the awareness of this building's history without falling into the victim role? What if you could sit here, and feel fully empowered?"
"Then," she said, "I would become curious. I would want to really know the truth about who the people really were who once lived in this house. I would be able to really face the past, and look at it straight-on, with eyes unclouded by emotion."
Together, we pondered the ways in which we allow our stories to imprison us. Jubilant, a Jewish woman announced that finally, for the first time in her life, she saw the possibility of living without guilt and shame, and without a sense of being responsible for righting all the wrongs in her country and addressing all the injustices. "I can just be me," she said. Does this mean she'll be living a life of self-centered hedonism? No. But she'll move as her soul directs her to move, instead of as the guilt-ridden mind tells her she should.
The Hunger for Training
One of my main objectives on this trip was to find out whether enough Israeli women would want to participate in the Circlework training, and be willing to make the commitment this requires, beginning with two five-day retreats in 2008. The answer I got was yes, the interest and desire is definitely present.
Moreover, those who expressed interest are extraordinary women, highly evolved and powerful. They are by no means beginners in the field of peace work. Rather, they are already leading circles, facilitating events, and involved in various projects. Precisely because they have been in so many circles, they recognize the Circlework Training as having something to offer they cannot find anywhere else. The reasons they gave for wanting the training were varied; some had to do with my style of leadership and teaching, some with the process of Circlework, and some with the Institute for Circlework. For example, they told me that:
- They want to facilitate healing between Arabs and Jews.
- They are extremely hungry for the conceptual framework that Circlework offers, which allows them to view their situation in a global perspective.
- They want to learn how to create the sense of intimacy and safety that Circlework facilitates.
- They want the practical tools that Circlework provides (exercises, meditations, rituals, movement practices, etc.)
- They want to learn more about mythology and symbolism.
- They want the connection with Circlework leaders in the United States that the Institute for Circlework can provide.
- They want to learn from watching my style of leadership.
The biggest challenge that emerged is that it's extremely difficult for many of them to leave home for five days at a time. Their husbands may not approve, and their culture may tell them that a woman's place is in the home, especially if she's a mother. Of course, taking off for five days is a challenge for all of us, given our busy lives, but in Israel, it's far greater. However, having led both a three day and a four day circle in Israel, I know that where there's a will, there's a way.
Working with Boundaries
One of the ways we learn how to be leaders is by witnessing other leaders. Many women told me that for them, a crucial experience was watching me deal with a woman who barged into the room during the first day of our retreat and demanded to be admitted to the group, claiming with increasing hysteria that she needed to be there.
As participants in my circles know, I require people to commit to the entire process, from beginning to end. Moreover, we had a waiting list for this retreat, and had to turn women away. So without hesitation, I said no, and asked her to leave. She refused, and adamantly insisted on staying, becoming more and more angry and distraught. I repeated that while I understood her desire to be with us, this was not the way to join, and that she needed to leave-which finally, she did.
As the door closed behind her, I could feel the shock waves moving through the circle. She had entered just after another woman had allowed herself to become emotionally vulnerable, and had expressed some very tender feelings. In her eyes, the timing of the invasion-for this is what it felt like to most of us-was no accident. "My experience," she said, "is that in this country, there is no safety. Any boundary that is set can be violated at any moment." On the other hand, she and others told me that my refusal to condone the violation of the circle's boundaries had immeasurably deepened their sense of safety in the circle.
A Circle of Arab Grandmothers
When I come to a circle that someone else has organized, I never know what to expect. In Nazareth, I entered a room packed with elderly Arab women-members of the Movement of Democratic Women in Israel. Few appeared to be under 60, and many were clearly in their 70s and 80s. All looked like traditional Arab grandmothers whom one would never have suspected of belonging to a political women's organization. Yet many had been coming for decades for the sisterhood, the education in political and other matters, and the sense of empowerment the group offered them. When I told them a story about how women in South America fought and won a battle over water rights, they proudly told me that they had done the same. They too used to have no access to running water, and had convinced the authorities to provide it.
I felt deeply honored to have been invited to speak to these women, who felt like my own elders and grandmothers. I have only a vague memory of what I said that night. I only know that I spoke from my heart, and felt completely guided and profoundly connected with them.
A lovely young woman (who told me she would love to attend the Circlework Training) translated their words into English, and mine into Arabic. In Israel, people tend to be restless, and have a short attention span. Yet despite the barriers of language and culture, these women seemed entirely present, attentive, and attuned. As I recall, my main message to them was that women everywhere are waking up and realizing their true power to bring peace and justice to the world. I invited them to feel how their circles are linked to circles of women around the world, including in the United States.
But why, they asked me, were women in the United States not doing more to protest the war in Iraq? Why were we so complacent? It was a good question, and one I have often asked myself. It is clear that Bush would like to invade Iran, a country that has done us no harm. It is an absolutely horrifying idea, and the potential consequences of implementing it are unthinkable, especially for neighboring countries like Israel. One would expect this nation to be in uproar over the mere suggestion. But it is not-at least, not yet.
Finding a Home for the Circlework Training
An important goal of this trip was to find a location for the Circlework Training. In the United States, there are dozens of beautiful, well equipped retreat centers, but in Israel, that is not the case. So to find the perfect home for the Circlework Training felt like a special gift. The place is Neve Shalom, the only intentional Jewish-Arab village in Israel (www.nswas.org). I arrived there on my very last evening in Israel, after having visited four other potential sites. None of them had felt right, so finding Neve Shalom was a tremendous relief. Not only is the entire village is committed to peaceful co-existence, but Neve Shalom is famous around the world for its educational work. The accommodations are simple but adequate, and the meeting is space is beautiful, surrounded by nature, and permeated with a deep sense of sacred silence. Indeed, to my great delight, Neve Shalom, which was founded by a deeply spiritual man, has a "dome of silence" where anyone can go to commune with themselves and Spirit.
In addition, its location half an hour from the Tel-Aviv Airport, and half an hour from Jerusalem, makes Neve Shalom extremely convenient and accessible for overseas guests. Since I see the Circlework Training as initiating a long-term connection between US and Middle Eastern Circlework leaders, this is an important bonus. Several key women from Neve Shalom have voiced their enthusiastic support for the Circlework Training, and it is my hope that Neve Shalom and the Institute for Circlework will enter into a mutually enriching partnership.
Garnering the Fruits
Physically, the trip was grueling, but considering the outcome, I think it was worth every moment:
- I can now say with assurance that if the Institute for Circlework can raise the funds to offer the Circlework Training at a low cost, then women will enroll. There is a lot of interest, especially on the part of women who are already holding leadership roles.
- Miraculously, Neve Shalom could offer me the dates I wanted in May and November of 2008, which I have tentatively booked.
- We have found a great translator who speaks English, Hebrew, and Arabic fluently.
- A group of Jewish and Arab volunteers has formed to collaboratively attend to the logistical aspects of conducting the Circlework Training in Israel. They have offered to help spread the word, translate forms and information into Hebrew, assist with registration, and so on.
Funding Work
Unfortunately, the Institute for Circlework has not yet raised sufficient funds to cover for this recent trip, let alone for the training. It was my personal choice to go ahead nonetheless, paying for most everything from my own pocket, at least for the time being. Perhaps this was foolhardy, since I am in no position to spend such large sums of money, but I believe that I made the right choice. I have faith in this project, and trust that the financial means will come. Many people, both here and in the United States, have told me that they too want the Israeli Circlework Training to happen, and are committed to supporting it.
Alone, there is no way I can raise the $100 000 we need to raise as soon as possible. But with your help, I know it can happen, and I have faith that it will. Perhaps this letter will inspire you to make a donation. If so, please don't delay. We will need to decide whether to move ahead with our preparations for the training within the next month, so we need your support now. For information about making a tax-deductible contribution, please click here.
Another way you can support us is by organizing a small fundraising event in your home. If you'd like to do so, we can help you with detailed guidelines. All you need to do is buy some wine and cheese, show the DVD, share the materials we'll send you, and forward any donations to us. If you're curious, contact us, and we'll tell you more.
Also, some people are asking their friends to make a donation to the Institute for Circlework in lieu of holiday gifts.
May this holiday season bring you peace, renewal, and joy!
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